know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em.

...

with love,
n

especially this week, i hope you know.

merry christmas.

with love,
n

looking forward.

lately i've been doing that cliche "end of the year reflection" thing. no new year's resolutions needed- just paying attention and continuing to press on. here are two things that God has been putting on my heart. good, good stuff.

redemption, restoration
the Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me, because the LORD has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound; to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn; to grant to those who mourn in Zion— to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he may be glorified. they shall build up the ancient ruins; they shall raise up the former devastations; they shall repair the ruined cities, the devastations of many generations.//isaiah 61:1-4


wisdom
...be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.//matthew 10:16

i am so thankful for my life and my God who is present in it.

gems from a conversation over thai food on a thursday night.

"when you are interested in something, you do what is convenient. when you care about something, you do whatever it takes."

merry + bright.

i almost broke my own rule when posting this picture, because the red of the cranberry and the glow of the lights against the green, green tree is pretty much to die for. oh these days are so merry and bright.

favorite things to do at christmastime:
- the tree.
- listen to the oldies/goodies croon about roasting chestnuts and winter wonderlands: nat, bing, johnny, ella.
- bake and eat too many cookies with my momma.
- sing and remember the reason for this season.
- feel what it's like to be a child waiting for christmas morning.
- (last but not least) see white twinkle lights almost everywhere.

it's a beautiful time of year, on many levels. my heart is happy and blessed.

wrapped in a blanket.

man oh man, do i ever have stories to tell. most of them i keep quiet in my heart, almost like a secret. i have seen the worst and the most discouraging, but now i am seeing a lot of best. a refreshing change, a small reminder of amazing things to come. they're a secret between me and me, little things that bring tears to my eyes as they are so filled with extravagant kindness and generosity. i've had such an awareness over the past several months of how much i need others in my life, and in strange, bizarre, tall-tale kinds of ways the most random folk have come out of the woodwork, just to bless me... for no reason. they might not even realize what they are doing for my heart in this season. so i tuck them away in my pocket (as a dear friend likes to say), and am reminded that i do not see the big picture. also that it's always darkest before the dawn. i'd go through the dark all over again if i had to, because i'm seeing bits of dawn in these blessings, bits of dawn that feel much the warmest blanket on a chilly day. it's a glorious thing to realize how little say we have in life and what it truly means to surrender and trust. maybe all days i won't feel like this, and i'm prepared to brace myself (again) with truth that i know, but today i'm relishing in this blanket of blessings and completely fine with what has been and what will be.




note to self: never underestimate what a small act of kindness or an encouraging word can do.

with love,
n

i am thankful for you.

and you, and you, and you. oh, and also you.

have the loveliest of days filled to the brim with food, friends, family, and gratitude.
with love,
n

there is something to be said for tenacity.

karin bergquist + linford detweiler (over the rhine) have been my favorite musical artists for about a decade now. in a very lovely twist of fate, they played my city the day before my twenty-eighth birthday. i tried to get my camera in with me, but to no avail. haha. :) man, i TRIED. however, my dear friend had her point-and-shoot, and this little image comes from that camera.



second row, front and center.

it was a beautiful, full-circle way to say good-bye/good-riddance to the past year of my life and begin again. in some ways, i've never known such disappointment as i felt this year. but karin and linford have themselves been through quite a lot and that is reflected in their songwriting. although vulnerable and slightly scarred, they remain hopeful and optimistic. the suffering has made them into the people that they are- and as they share their stories through song, they pour their whole hearts into conveying the emotions. pretty powerful. i respect them so much as artists and individuals. all in all, a very happy birthday to me.

hannah banana.

it is always surreal to watch childhood friends morph into parents. :)



what a joy-beam miss hannah ruth happens to be. it was so delightful to spend an hour with her and her momma.
with love,
n

they're soooo weird.

and that's soooo great.
i've been staying with my sister and bro-in-law the past several days, and i can't think of the last time i laughed so hard.
they're ridiculously amazing.
i won't "out" them in all their quirky ways, :), but i LOVE it. the made-up words, the goofiness, the sing alongs. man oh man. they are hysterical together.
riding in their backseat on the way home from church i told them that i couldn't imagine either of them married to absolutely anyone else.
no one else would enjoy this or get each other the way they do. :)
and that's the way it should be for us all.
the end.

with love,
n

knitting day.

my grandma likes to knit.

knitted things are nifty. so i asked her to teach me! we started a pair of basic red slippers. right now they look like... toe flags. think if i wear them as is i could start a new trend? ;) we listened to christmas music by good old standards like nat, johnny and bing, laughed, talked, and fixed my beginner's mistakes.

maybe i won't ever make anything more complicated than toe flags, but store that one in the memory bank of treasures for sure.

with love,
n

home away from home.

i'm here again! oh- portland airport- so familiar.
these past few days (2... no, really, 365. give or take) have been full of hard, good thoughts.
hard, painful, rich, blessed, challenging, growing times.
but because of that i don't have a lot to share.
still mulling. :)

signing off for now. i'm going to finish my gingerbread confection out of a pretty red cup, and then hop on an eastbound plane.
see you soon.
with love,
n

picture-in-picture.

blustery, dark, beautiful fall day. new boots. errands accomplished. amazing conversation with kindred spirits. a freshly developed roll of b&w film. people that care sincerely and let you know that they do right exactly when you need to hear it. being aware of things bigger than myself and the excitement that comes from believing (in faith) of what's to come.

yup, not bad for a monday.
hope yours was just as encouraging.
with love,
n

a reminder of hope.

red cardinals have always been that (see subject line :)) to me.
the portland area doesn't really have cardinals hanging around like the east coast did.
do you think God is limited by that?
nope. totally random coffee cart off i-5 near chehalis, wa. hmm. :)

have a hope-filled day.
with love,
n

a new sort of project.

so i'm trying to come up with ways that i can continue to feed the fire of creativity in a season where i use my creativity to put food on the table. my job is AMAZING and i'm honestly so grateful- but being creative on demand...? doesn't that go against everything internal in an artist's heart? (the answer: a resounding yes. :)) to you non-artsy types, let me explain: it's seriously so much about what you feel. and when you feel it, YOU FEEL IT. when you don't, you don't. when you're hired to do this for a living, all that matters are results. which is totally and completely understandable, but the heart part gets a little lost sometimes.

this is my project for the winter, and i'm excited about "feeling" it. looking for inspiration. sharing because i want to. learning and growing. blah blah blah. :)

the rules are simple: the images posted will be b&w photos. mostly of a personal nature. i'll do my best to show/tell you stories- thanks for following along.

with love,
n